Norman Says

March Madness

For those who aren't familiar with me, I live with a chicken named O'Toole. We call him the foul mouthed chicken because he swears up a storm, mostly because he's so bitter about the status of poultry in today's world. For example, I was talking about March madness and O'Toole says, "Do you know what madness is? Madness is the endless slaughter of millions of my brothers and sisters each and every month. Madness is me walking down the fucking street and not being able to turn around without seeing a billboard advertising KFC or your precious McDonald's chicken fucking selects. That's fucking madness!" Which, I agree, is pretty bad, but I think what's really madness is that Cujo, the mentally challenged guy who sweeps up at the telemarketing office I work at, is probably going to win the NCAA tournament pool there. The office manager talked him into it mainly as a way to sweeten the pot, and Cujo made his picks by choosing whichever team made him laugh when he heard it said out loud. Which was why Cujo picked Bucknell in the first round. Incidentally, Cujo stops at the Hooter's down the street every day after work to eat the free buffalo wings they put out at happy hour, so when he wins my madness and O'Toole's madness will in some cosmic sense converge and hopefully cancel each other out. Because as much as I respect O'Toole and his convictions, if Cujo wins the pool he's buying, and it's free beer and chicken wings 'til we puke.

Just don't tell O'Toole.

posted by Norman P. Function @ 9:17 PM